The Reality of PTRS

Relationships can be enjoyable, and ultimately these can lead to marital bliss. However many can be extremely toxic and lead to much deeper issues. We fail to realize that remaining in a toxic relationship not only isn’t healthy for the parties involved, but it causes severe mental impacts to ones self.

My husband and I have been together for 10yrs, and in that amount of time you have a chance to truly learn a persons habits, what makes them tic, and you’ll even go through your share of emotional rollercoasters. Depending on the extent of these unstable times will determine the amount of mental strain a person goes through.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)-A disorder in which a person has difficulty recovering after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event.

The condition may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions.

You’re thinking what the hell does this have to do with anything right? Well let me elaborate. PTSD is something a person goes through when they come in contact with traumatic situations. So let’s use this for an example….you and your boyfriend have been dating for years and BOOM!!!! here comes the emotional turmoil. You argue almost everyday over the most simple things, your sex life has decreased tremendously, you barely have any alone time, he shows you lack of attention, or have any regard for your feelings, HE’S CHEATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!! These are things that we consider toxic when they occur on a frequent basis. And these are prime examples that will create a traumatic experience for anyone who goes through them consistently. Here are some symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress caused by a toxic relationship which is known as PTRS…..

Frequent Nightmares of infidelity/Abuse– you consistently have dreams that you’re spouse is cheating, verbally abusive, or even physically abusive to you.

Having a feeling of loneliness or feeling unwanted– You often attempt to figure out why your significant other chose to step out in a relationship and oftentimes you want to find fault in yourself. You become isolated, you shut off all emotions to your loved ones, you lash out at those who want to be there for you. Sometimes you also begin to lose yourself, caring less about your appearance, not taking out the appropriate time for self reflection.

Feelings of Anxiety- you excessively worry about what your significant other is doing on a daily, you have the constant fear of what if their out being up to absolutely no good.

Lack of trust for others even when you’ve moved on– You consistently expect for bad things to happen in your new relationship, or you categorize all men under one umbrella as if all men are dogs.

These are just some of the very many signs/symptoms of PTRS. Just as PTSD can create a very unhappy life, due to the variety of up & down emotions, this too can be an issue for those dealing with toxic relationships. I’m not therapist, or counselor however I know first hand of what this is like. The first step of healing would be to place yourself first. You are the most important, because at the end of the day you are the only person that can 100% sustain your happiness. Realize that its not you as to why your significant other is the way they are. When someone chooses to mistreat you, ruin your trust, and become disloyal they make these choices with premeditated intentions. God blessed us all with a brain to think, evaluate, determine right from wrong. Therefore when a person abuses you mentally, physically, and emotionally they have had the time to think about their actions already. There’s no excuse for that type of behavior period. My advice to those is to put yourself first, discover your self worth, and heal. PTRS is a real thing and in some situations license therapist are required, so never be afraid to seek the help you need, in order to discover a better you.

Signed a Bougie Black Girl….

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